Hide and Seek

– I was always the one who hid

When I was young, I liked playing hide and seek.
But I was always the one hiding.
I used to wait with excitement—
hoping someone would come find me.
But when no one did,
that excitement quietly turned into loneliness.

Maybe even back then,
I wasn’t someone who waited.
I was someone who hid.

When I wanted to cry,
when I wanted to say I was hurt,
I hid.

I hid my emotions,
I masked my face.
I didn’t say what I needed.
I said I was fine. I said I was okay.
Behind those words,
a small version of me was hiding.

Maybe I was afraid—
that if I said too much,
people would leave.
That I would be too heavy,
too much to carry.

And after hiding for so long,
sometimes I don’t even know where I am.
What I feel.
What face is really mine.

I am still like that child.
Still hiding.
Still waiting for someone to come find me.